Learn what is really good enough for you. Say “yes” or “no” to empower you and lift you, not hold you back. – Susan Young
Entrepreneurship or small business ownership really is the best form of self-development. Since I began this mega-journey, all kinds of things have come up for me (in terms of self-doubt, value, worth, belief, confidence, etc etc) and each and every time when I had to improve who I was “being” to get to the next level, I would notice there was a lesson I had to learn.
I’ve talked about our blueprints or conditioning in the past and I believe, we can change the blueprint through our choices and decisions (I even wrote a book on the subject, The Little Book of Choice) but making new and empowered choices isn’t always easy, particularly if you are continually on a magic round-a-bout that you can’t seem to get off.
Over the last few weeks you may also have noticed that I have been seeing the sequence of 11:11, 1:11, 2:34, 5:46 on the clocks. I’ve been viewing these as something I should be “waking up” to (I have literally woken up at all of those times to look at the clock, anyway digressing here) but wasn’t really sure “what” I’m supposed to wake up to.
Yesterday, it smacked me in the face and it hurt. When it suddenly dawns on you that your blueprint is exactly how you are acting (in my case, I was repeating actions I had seen from both of my parents [not blaming them here for anything by the way, just noted what I had learned and been doing on repeat] and both very different in their actions but somehow, I have managed to ‘become’ both of them) and that these actions are actually having a profound affect on the way in which I operate (in certain relationships) it was like someone had taken their best punch and thrown it as hard a possible into my guts, I felt sick to my stomach, it hurt and I mean really hurt when I realised what I’d been doing to myself (again, no disrespect Mum & Dad) and then I drew a huge sigh of relief.
The choices I had been making and allowing “in” to my life in certain areas, were just not good enough. Not good enough for my own value and self-respect and certainly not good enough for the direction I am heading (as I said earlier, running your own biz is a full-on course in self-development and improvement) – but the most interesting part about all of this is how I communicate.
Wow. My business is all about communication and connection and relationship building. I can’t support a client to achieve a result if there is no honest, up-front tell-it-like-it-is communication (it just wouldn’t work) and yet, in my personal relationships (whether I want to form a bond or not) I have been “absent” in saying what I really want. So I’ve been getting exactly what I don’t want (and allowing it to happen, I am fully responsible and accountable here) and wondering “WTF” is going on, thinking there must be something wrong with me. (Self-sabotage inner bitch reappears at this point to tell me that I am not good enough, she swiftly gets told to piss off).
Being superbly creative, innovative, independent, quirky, cool, stylish, loyal, pretty down-right all round f***ing amazing does have it’s downside too. [Yes, I did say that about myself, because it is true, I am pretty cool] But now that I have come to recognise what it is, I’m aware and I’ve started to say NO and opened lines of honest and open communication. Another thing that actually is easier said than done (as I take a deep breath and my heart is beating fast as I can’t believe I’m actually writing this, shit) because it also means letting go of some things that you might not necessarily want to let go of.
There’s also the point of saying NO to certain clients who want to work with you – damn that is hard, but necessary. And I’ll tell you why, if they aren’t the right client for you, they won’t get the result they are looking for and it will end up lose-lose situation and I don’t want that for anyone. In fact, all this big heart of mine really wants for everyone is peace.
The more I become aware of my imperfections the more I realise just how fantastic this life is. To be able to choose who you are and be all that you were meant to be trips me out. And you don’t have to put up with anything that isn’t good enough for you (and if you don’t know what is good enough, your innate wisdom knows so just listen otherwise you’ll get sent a million signs until you get it).
So, choose wisely. Make your intentions clear. And if it’s not good enough or doesn’t feel right. Cut the connection. You are worth it.
Love Susan xx