“Shake it Off” that crazy self-talk
No one can make you “feel” anything. It’s a choice that you make. You can change how you feel anytime – Susan Young
How many times have you had a day when you just can’t seem to shake-off the negative talk pattern that is swirling around in your head and sabotaging everything that you do?
Being an entrepreneur is tough. There are days when you feel totally isolated, overwhelmed and absolutely crushed when things don’t work or go the way you had planned or expected, especially when using technology (websites, blog, social media) or when relying on another persons input.
I admit I have had many a day where I’ve sat at my desk and cried. And cried some more, not knowing what the hell to do next and then allowing myself to listen to a bunch of absolute nonsense in stories I tell myself.
It can be devastating to your day.
But not only your day, other people you come into contact with too.
I’ll give you a made up scenario / example. You’ve sent out an email that was meant for your partner, but instead you have sent it to your boss.
All of a sudden you are stressed and start to tell yourself a story of what the outcome is going to be when your boss reads the email. You begin to self-talk your way to a negative sabotaging pattern that then transfers to everyone around you….. your partner just happens to call to say that the the email you said you were sending hasn’t arrived and then all of a sudden, they feel your anxiety (yes, even through the phone) and they mirror your mood and behaviour. Because that’s what we humans do, we mirror behaviour.
[If you ever walk down the street and people have scowl on their face and bump into you, check yourself quickly. They are just mimicking you.]
Next thing you know there’s some kind of negative exchange happening and you can’t understand why the other person is being so “horrible” towards you.
So how do you stop this before it even starts?
First of all, you MUST take accountability for the fact that we all, at some point or another self-talk negatively. There’s a running inner dialogue that can trick you into believing anything (and I mean anything).
Second of all, you need to start RECOGNISING the pattern of when you begin this negative self-talk. For me, this begins when something isn’t working and I have a tendency to “shift the blame” to the ‘thing’ e.g. the robots in the autoresponder, when it’s not the robots, it’s me who didn’t set it up properly.
Thirdly, take a deep and long BREATH. Listen to what you are saying and then say to yourself, OK, that’s enough now, let’s move onto something positive. E.g. I can just change what I was doing and fix the problem.
In the case of the misdirected email, what would you do to change the outcome you’ve dreamed up already in your head? Here’s an idea, call your boss and say, “sorry, you will receive an email that’s not meant for you, please can you delete it”. Stand up to yourself and get it out of the way.
Lastly, do an activity that will makes you feel ALIVE and INVIGORATED. I simply get out of my chair stand up, turn on my inner Self-DJ, spin a tune and do a little boogie to shake-off all of those crazy negative thoughts.
That little dance changes my mindset each and every time because dancing makes me smile, I feel a little silly when I do it, so it makes me laugh out loud. And as soon as I start to laugh, all of that self-talk sabotaging negative shiz-nitz gets diluted and rinsed away.
What is your favourite way to get rid of any negativity burning a sabotaging hole in your head?
I’d love to hear your comments (add them in the box below) and any ideas that we can all use and share to ensure everyday is a great day, with some Fun and Passion, keeping it Real all the way.
Have a beautiful day!
Love Susan xx